A Man’s Preference: Is There One?
I’m the type of girl who likes to switch up her look. What can I say? I get bored, quickly.
Well anyway, the most consistent thing I prefer to switch up is my hair. I feel like my personality can easily be expressed through my clothes and hair, but my hair is more fun to play around with most of the time. I’ve had everything from different colored twists, braids, wigs, sew-ins, faux locs and more. With all of these looks, I have noticed something pretty interesting. I attract specific types of men depending on the look I currently have.
Whenever my look consisted of longer hair, it seemed like I attracted more men than I would if I had a shorter look. You may believe that whenever I had longer hair, which it was probably a sew in. But, you are wrong! I’ve ever had only two.
It’s true that with my long sew-ins, I still attracted a lot of men. But even with other looks, such as my favorite being my long faux locs, the numbers were still high. So I say this to ask, do men prefer women with long hair or short hair?
You may think that from my time experimenting with different looks that men generally prefer women with longer hair, but in 2018 I see situations changing a little bit.
The Hair-Cutting Movement
There’s this trend on twitter where women are cutting their hair off.
I’m talking buzz cuts, pixie cuts, fades and more! The reasons behind why they cut it differ, but I mostly think it’s just because they can and because of feel like it. It could be a part of some movement women have for liberation purposes.
They probably don’t want to feel attached to their hair. I can dig that! Many of the women who cut their hair appear to be on the thicker side, so now there’s this idea that if you chop your hair, your booty will get bigger. Women on Twitter are showing off what their mama gave them, by displaying their new cut in a full body picture wearing a sundress, facing at an angle that shows their best assets. After all, it is sundress season! What better time to cut your hair?
Every picture I’ve seen so far has gone completely viral on the internet, and the guys are the main reason for it. There have been comments on photos saying things that encourage more women to cut their hair.
I even had a few friends of mine consider cutting their hair, when before it was never a second thought. Are women more comfortable cutting their hair now and do men prefer shorter hair on them?
Why Men Love Long Hair
Helps in Finding a Suitable Mate
There have to be reasons why half the population of men prefers the women with longer hair, right?
So, why is that? Well, from an evolutionary perspective long, glossy, straight, and richly-pigmented hair is thought to announce suitability as a mate. The health, quality, and luster of your hair tell potentials that you’re in good health and reproductive potential.
It makes sense, I mean, there were times I’ve looked at a woman’s hair and assumed she was in good health. I have done the same thing with men as well. Usually, we consider hair to be the tell all of all health statuses. Although this isn’t all the way right, it does have some truth. But, we are years past previous cultural norms.
After all, wouldn’t it be the same in reverse if we turned the tables? Women want men who are the ideal providers, right? So, if this were true, we would prefer our men to have long hair.
Either a woman’s preference doesn’t matter, according to the society we live in, or it’s getting ignored.
Symbol of Femininity and Beauty
Simply put, most men who prefer long locks on their ladies probably have an old-school view of what’s considered beauty.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing! After all, preference is just a reference, and we all have them. But, we must keep in mind that times are changing, and there is more than one form of beauty. For centuries, long hair was the standard of beauty for women.
For years, this took a hard toll on the African American women community, since for a long time we didn’t have the proper tools to help our hair grow properly, but that is a topic for another day! In a blog post for Huffington Post Women, Lucinda Ellery, a hair specialist, says, “history shows that hair is a symbol of femininity.”
She explains how during the Civil War era, when women weren’t allowed to battle, they’d cut off their locks to disguise their identities and how, since Biblical times, women have viewed their hair as a “crowning glory.”
Hair and Sex
You all knew this was coming! When it comes to sex, you have all heard the same things.
Men want something to “play with.” They find it sexually pleasurable to grab onto a women’s hair during sex. I guess it is sort of a stroke to the male ego to pull on a woman’s hair while having sex.
It makes men feel that they are in control of the situation, so they enjoy the pulling and tugging. It isn’t just for the men though! I know a lot of women who enjoy getting their pulled during sex. After all, being submissive can be arousing at times, so I’ve heard.
Are there times where women prefer longer hair, as well?
Why Men Love Short Hair
They Want Something New and Different
Contrary to what you may believe about a man’s preference when it comes to hair, I feel a lot of men today are changing.
There is another large population of men who prefer their women with short hair, for many refreshing reasons. From my experiences of trying out new and different looks, I realized that men desire women who know how to express what they want and go after it.
They like seeing the occasional unicorn who appears unexpectedly. They find it attractive when women can confidently go against the cultural gender norms society placed on them. It brings about a little mystery that they have to explore and that peaks their desire to get to know you. They like women who don’t succumb to the average look.
Average look doesn’t necessarily mean dull or ordinary, but it says that the look they come across is something the men believe most women appear to look like every day. There is no differentiation. So, when they come across something new, they get curious.
Men Love Confidence
You may not believe it and men may try to tell me I’m wrong, but I have seen it enough times to know what I am talking about, right now!
Have you ever been attracted to someone even more once you notice how confident and secure they are in themselves? I know I have. Most of the time when I confirm a crush I have on someone, they aren’t usually considered cute by the broader population.
But, it is just something about a man (or woman) who is secure in who they are that makes them seem so much more attractive. That is what men see when they see women rocking shorter cuts! They like women who know who she is and isn’t afraid to tell the world. She may not be too attractive to him at first glance, but that will end very quickly.
When you walk into a room with your head held high, no matter how you look, you will get attention. People will start questioning who you are and will be more inclined to want to get to know you.
The Mystery is Thrilling
That goes back to the conversation about being different. It is no fun exploring something you think you know everything about already.
Think about it concerning food. If you eat the same meal every day, you’re eventually going to get tired of it. The meal is good, and you already know you love it, but what if your friend tells you about a lunch he had.
The way your friend describes the food makes it seem like it’s the most delicious thing you’ve never tried. The appeal of the meal and the fact that you have never tasted it makes you even more curious. It is the same deal with people. Men are natural hunters. Once they seek something out, the guy won’t stop until he has tried what he has been craving.
Seeing a woman with a cute short haircut may peak a guy’s interest merely because they don’t see that every day.
What Do The Women Have to Say?
The main topic of this article is to analyze the ideologies of men when it comes to a woman’s hair. But, what do the women prefer?
After all, it is our hair! Don’t we have a say? History shows us that there are times when women’s preferences don’t matter, and it especially shows when discussing topics that directly relate to women. How ironic is that?
There are many sets of reasons for the divergence, but the primary factor is most likely that women have historically lacked social power within many societies. The ability to vote, remain unmarried, inherit titles, own property, not have children, work outside the home, live independently, and divorce spouses are all surprisingly recent occurrences.
We lack the underlying feeling of believing we have the right to make our own choices. It’s sad but true, and this is why a man’s preference is seemingly so much more important than our own.
How Can We Fix This?
To get to a place where we as women can confidently express how we feel, truthfully, we have to look to the men to give us our shine.
Now, hear me out! Generally speaking, men are the sole providers of most societies, and they control most government functions. We have to educate the men on the issues we go through as women so that the men can understand us better.
Once they get to a point where they appreciate us, we are more susceptible to letting the general population hear our voices. We also have to show them our potential as women or continue to do so. We are already making significant progress, but we still have a long way to go before men look at us as equals.
We can take little steps towards achieving this, and it can start with doing whatever we want with our hair!
So Which One is It?
The truth is, every man is different. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “all men are the same.”
I partly agree, but for the most part, every man has his own set of preferences and those preferences can change at any time. It is 2018 and times are changing! Gender roles are blurred more every day, and people are finding themselves better in this day and age than at any other time. Women have the right to make choices about their bodies and finances without the world weighing in or drawing bizarre inferences about their motives.
Being an adult is about finding a purpose and a path beyond that society prescribed you. That means dismissing all of the judgmental naysayers, which includes parents, friends, and especially boyfriends and husbands.
The goals you define for yourself and the work that you put into them represent you. Nobody else does. I understand if it is tempting to want to do what you’ve always done, or do what you think other people like.
But, a part of growing into yourself means discovering that eventually, you will get tired of not listening to your own heart.
It’s Your Life! Live!
Simply put, it’s your hair. Do what you want with it! Your happiness is within you and always was. If you want short hair, get short hair. If you like long hair, have long hair. It’s your head. You get to decide how to decorate it.