Is It My Hair?
I know we are all tired of being sub-posted on Instagram about not having natural beauty, or how fake our hair is and what is under our wigs. Men are continually fighting us to wear our real hair out. They crave to see the beauty God gave us. And I can muster up a few reasons why.
What’s The Problem?
1. Men want their opinions to heard
Although it may not seem like it, men like their voices to be heard when it comes to girls they like.
Often, they want to know that you care about your appearance, or what they think of it. It is why men go out of their way to compliment you on dressing nicely or your upkeep when it’s things that they like; your desire to look good for them lowkey vital to them.
A man liking specific styles and voicing his opinion does not mean that they want to control or change you, it can be that they want to get what they love and know their lady is aiming to please.
While this can seem sexist, and in some forms it is, just think of the times you’ve said to bae, “I love that red sweater” or “YASSS” to their fresh cut. It’s the same thing.
2. Men want to to see you as you naturally are
I can’t tell you how many times I have worn a blunt cut wig for awhile and when I show up to class in a pixie cut the following week, the boys in my class minds blown.
While it may seem obvious, it’s weave though sometimes it isn’t. #Blendgameonten.
3. He loves your real hair!
He loves your hair! This one is pretty straightforward.
He loves your high-puffs or your silky straight tresses just the way they are! Men are often physically attracted to you for a multitude of reasons that can also include your hair, so they want to see it.
One of my best friends has the longest thickest hair that I love seeing all pressed out to perfection in its great glory. Even though she enjoys chopping it off and wearing it in a curly bob any chance that she gets.
4. Your man has bought into “If she wears nails, extensions, and make-up, then she is insecure” thing.
I want to say that everyone should be smarter than to overgeneralize the entire female population to this stereotype, but we have not yet come that far.
If you have never expressed this sentiment to your man, then girl I’m sad to say it, but either leave him or educate him. Despite the countless arguments against striving to look like something you are not or being insecure about what you look like without it, many still believe this sentiment.
We know, as women, and enlightened men, that we use extensions or other enhancements for a variety of reasons. For instance, protective styling, experimentation and events, it has nothing to do with our self-worth. Puhlease.
And for those of it whom it does, A.) Do not be ashamed! If you don’t like something about your hair and have a means to alter it to make you feel better about your appearance, who is anyone else to stop you from changing yourself?
And B.) Be proud of who you are and how you look! Nothing is better than having love and confidence in your worth and body image!
5. It’s irritating to him
Now, my father is guilty of this and so am I. Before you get to judging, these are my personal experiences so let me explain.
I leave my wigs around the house sometimes. Men find this disgusting and scary. Hair goes on your head he says, not the kitchen table. Touche, father, touche.
Additionally, dealing with the shedding or cutting of hair can be messy and annoying.
I spend a lot of money on weaves. My finances are not particularly anyone else’s problem. However, when you ask for hair as a gift or pay hundreds on extensions, your loved ones may begin to raise an eyebrow in your direction.
And last but not least, it gets in his face! I know that significant others around the world have complained about their girlfriend’s hair getting in their mouth or being wrapped up in their pillow with extensions.
But what can I say? They do say that beauty is a pain.
6. He does not approve of “altering yourself”
I have met a few guys who prefer their lady to be all natural, all of the time.
These men like to see you as you as without any enhancements on a regular basis. Whether it is a matter of religion, preference or style, is deemed a turn-off.
7. He prefers a different style
For some, it isn’t the bundles itself that are bothersome it is the style. For whatever reason, some men hate the idea of a wig or cannot stand the look of baby hairs.
8. A Man may find extensions to be “ghetto.”
What?! Yes. There are plenty of men and women who think the concept of weave is ‘ghetto,’ ‘ratchet’ and ‘fake.’
While the way you wear your hair can be an extension of your personality, it does not define who you are. People are allowed to wear long hair or colored hair without getting called negative stereotypes.
Typically, I try to avoid this kind of person, but if you can’t just flip your 30 inches of Brazilian Deep Wave on their face and keep it moving!
9. There are too many rules regarding extensions
Don’t pull, touch, wash or spray things on my hair. Do not ball up my wigs. Do not ask me if it’s real and please do not jokingly ask “oh girl you got that Brazillian.” No. Just No.
10. Don’t laugh but men are jealous
Think about it, if you had a huge bald spot that you could never cover, but your girlfriend could cover a head full of gorgeous hair merely for fun, you’d be jealous too.
Why Should You Care?
I’ll never forget the time that I took out my weave and had a short pixie cut.
My boyfriend begged and begged for me to give the extensions a break. I wore my hair short and sleek for probably a month as he requested. I loved trying out a bunch of short styles that I shied away from before.
My accessories and lipstick game drastically increased due to my new face shaping cut. It was a beautiful break for my hair and a good confidence booster for me. The one time I listened to him, I was happy I had taken his advice.
Then out of the blue, my boyfriend says, “You know what, I miss your extensions.” What I am saying is, who cares what men think when they can’t even make their minds up! You shouldn’t.
If you let them, they will continuously be prodding and probing for you to change up something that makes you happy, when they aren’t even sure what they like themselves.
Think about it, men are saying they want a short girl to rise and kiss them, but they love long legs. They want a girl that will be submissive but is incredibly independent.
Men say they like a natural bare face and are posting pictures of women for three layers of makeup that produced that “natural glow.”
Do What Pleases You
It’s ok to wear your hair in a style or manner that pleases your man or men in general; I understand wanting to appear attractive to the opposite sex.
However, you should not be consistently doing things to please a man, even if he is the love of your life. You are the one that has to be satisfied when they look in the mirror, not to mention the one buying bundles, product, and scarfs. The choice is always and forever, yours. The man for you will love how you look whether you style your hair like Chaka Khan, Amber Rose, Lauryn Hill or Beyonce.
If wearing your natural hair (relaxed or natural) makes you happy then go for it, but don’t swear off weave because of boys. Would Tommy cut off his dreads for you? Would Mike stop getting his signature part?
Or would Leo finally shave off his struggling beard after you gently suggest it for the millionth time? I think not.
Do you and book that closure sew-in appointment.